


all these stars above our heads

by postmoderne



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, but it's really just fluff, star-gazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 06:31:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1541066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postmoderne/pseuds/postmoderne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall is kind of special, lives in a small town and Harry comes to visit his cousin Liam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all these stars above our heads

 

*****  
  
And it's not even midnight when he lays there on the empty field, so he can't even pretend to be deep, to be a poet, to be a thinker. He is none of that, he is just a guy laying on a field at night, - _is it three o'clock?_ \- staring at the wide sky above him and he blinks and thinks, yes, he thinks anyway, little thoughts, rushed ideas, big cogitations for such a small human, such a small body, such small cells.   
This is all he is, he is one small human being with one small life and when he gazes at the stars, when he lifts his hand and tries to reach one of those planets, he feels lost and whole at the same time because that's what the big space, the big emptiness makes you feel: everything and nothing at once.  
  
People tell him he should grow up, that he's twenty and not two, that he should finally get up from the field and begin a real life, that he should stop dreaming and start living because that is what everyone else does, that's what they expect from you and if you don't meet expectations, you're not accepted, you're different.  
Sometimes he wishes they would just stop talking to him, that he can manage his life on his own pretty well, that dreaming is nothing bad. He knows he isn't a child anymore, he knows he should get a proper job but all of this wisdom doesn't make his heart feel any lighter.   
  
His heart is beating heavily in his chest and when he tells people that he only feels free on the field underneath the stars, they chuckle at him and shake their heads.   
 _Of course_ , they say, _we understand, sweetie, you're only a boy and you've still got all your life in front of you but it's time to begin living._  
Isn't he living? Isn't what he does living? He knows what identifies life, what the essentials of life are, he learned it at school: _homeostasis, organisation, metabolism, growth, reproduction, adaption and response to stimuli_ and as far as he is concerned, he meets all of these expectations. He isn't dumb, alright, he knows he isn't, he is just not ready for life to catch up with him.  
  
He stares at the stars on the night sky. Long time ago, when he was younger, he tried to count them but eventually he gave up and the day he stopped counting stars, he realised that adulthood had reached him at last. He realised it with a silent shock which led to silent tears and eventually to a silent scream into the silent night.   
And even though he can't say that the stars have helped him cope, he still can say that they were there for him and that's enough. He knows that the stars never leave, not like humans do at least. Stars explode but you still can see their light shining years after and when a human dies, said human is dead.   
He likes to believe that the dead humans still shine in other peoples hearts, that they leave a light there, a tiny spark and it makes him feel happy enough, but he wonders why his heart beats so heavily in his chest when there should be his dead grandpa keeping it light, keeping the spark alive.  
  
It's not even midnight when he crosses his arms underneath his head and keeps his gaze on the planets above him and feels kind of lonely. He knows nothing about the universe, he likes its secret and he keeps dreaming.   
  
A summer breeze blows gently and sends shivers down his spine. He knows he should go back to bed, he should give his plants water more often and he should talk to his brother more often and there are so many things he should do more often and that he just doesn't do often enough and yes, it angers himself but he just cannot help it.  
He slowly rolls onto his stomach and lifts himself up, brushes away the dirt and the grass from his clothes and leaves the field, leaves his stars and retreats to the real life.  
  


***  
**  
  
Liam is not Harry's favourite cousin because Liam is naive and gullible and it's just too easy to make fun of him, so easy that Harry doesn't even enjoy it anymore.   
His mum tells him that he should visit Liam anyway because he a) invited him and b) she is on a ' _get the whole family together again_ ' trip and c) Harry hates to disappoint her. So he goes.  
  
His cousin lives in the posh part of some village in the countryside and Harry didn't know that villages have posh parts. Apparently they do and Harry sighs. At least he doesn't have to live in a shed.  
He arrives with the bus in the afternoon and Liam, good old Liam with his innocent puppy-like face, picks him up in a Porsche - Harry has to whistle a little when he sees the car - and drives him to his home, where he lives with his two sisters, his mum and dad and his granny.   
  
"I hope you feel at home, Harry!", Liam's mum smiles at him after he put his stuff into the guest room, where he'll be living for three weeks now.   
Harry smiles back as polite as he can force himself to and nods. "Thank you, Mrs Payne"  
"Oh", she says. "You can call me Karen, darling", and of course he can, he didn't expect anything else, so he nods and smiles again, tells her something about getting some fresh air.  
  
He leaves the Payne house and the first thing he does is to sigh deeply. This holiday is going to be full of annoying people and cow dung.   
"Hey, Harry!", a voice shouts behind him and without turning around, Harry knows it's Liam.   
He doesn't quite feel like smiling, therefore he doesn't, he only lifts his eyebrows when his cousin approaches him, panting heavily. He even ran to catch up with him. Impressive.  
  
"What's it, Li?", Harry asks because it's the correct thing to do, isn't it.   
"I wanted to show you around!", Liam says cheerily and grins like a fool. "Only if you want, of course!"  
Harry is about to roll his eyes and say no, when he remembers his mum and her warning that he should be nice to everyone.   
"Yes, that would be great, thank you Li.", he replies then through gritted teeth and manages to lift the corners of his mouth a little.  
  
  
 *****  
  


He should've known that this village is not interesting at all and all Liam has to show to him is the town hall and the bakery, where a woman called Barbara poked his bum.   
The only good thing in this village is the small coffee house, where they sell self-made brownies which are delicious.   
  
Liam and he sit on a table for two persons and Liam talks for both of them while Harry stuffs his cheeks with brownies, so he doesn't have to reply to him. It's better like this, Harry thinks, he doesn't want to be rude to Liam just yet.  
  
His cousin is about to tell him about cow tipping, when the door of the coffee house opens with a light ding-a-ling and Harry sees a blond boy with a bright smile enter.   
The lady behind the counter greets him with a good-humoured _'good afternoon, Niall!'_ , and the boy greets her back just as cheerfully.   
  
"Today I've got something special for you!", the lady says then and motions to Niall that he should wait a moment. Harry in the meanwhile can't keep his eyes off the blond and even naive little Liam seems to notice that.  
  
"That's Niall Horan", he mentions helpfully. "He's a really nice guy, we're friends but he also likes to keep to himself"   
Harry nods at that and glances back to the boy at the counter. The lady hands Niall something over that looks like a star-shaped brownie and the blond's smile dims a little when he sees it.  
"Thank you so much, Margaret, that's very nice of you!", Niall says and even bows a bit, which makes the lady giggle like a young girl.   
"Oh, sweetie, I know how much you like the stars, so I wanted to make a little something for you", she smiles and Niall nods gently and turns around.  
  
His gaze lands on Liam and Harry and now Harry can see that Niall's eyes are blue and his face beautiful and he's lulled by Niall's natural beauty. He looks a bit like an angel captured on earth and Harry knows that he wants him.  
  
Liam waves at Niall, calling his name and beckons him over to their table and maybe Liam isn't so useless and annoying after all.   
The blond really comes over to them, shifts a chair so that he can sit with them, too.  
  
"Hi Payno", he greets Liam and then looks at Harry. "And you are?"  
"Ah, that's my cousin Harry. He's from London.", Liam quickly says and pats Harry's shoulder while Niall chuckles a bit.  
"Oh, from the big city, I see? Formidable.", he grins and winks at Harry. "A real man of the world, yeah?"  
"Yeah", Harry answers and smiles, too, but he's slightly confused if Niall is or is not taking the piss right now.   
  
"Oh, oh and Niall! I passed my practical driving test!", Liam shouts and begins hopping up and down on his chair like a puppy with too much energy. "Finally, right? I'm a real driver now! Ask Harry, I drove him home yesterday!"  
Niall laughs happily along with Liam and highfives him. "Awesome, man! Now you can drive me 'round sometimes, eh? In that fancy car of yours!"  
  
To say that Harry is amazed with Niall is quite the understatement of the year. The blond keeps up with Liam's boyish happiness and naive behaviour when it's clear to Harry that Niall is anything but naive. He can see the glint in those blue eyes, the glint that tells him, Niall is not dull and credulous, that he knows more than he wants to admit.  
  
"Does Harry from London have his driving licence yet?", Niall asks and lifts his eyebrows playfully. Harry grimaces and snorts.   
"I'm twenty years old, of course I do, I'm not a complete fool", he mutters and runs a hand through his hair, sees out of the corner of his eyes his cousin wincing in the chair next to him and oh.  
  
Niall's lips form a straight line and his eyes narrow. "Not a complete fool but a complete arrogant prat, I see", he says wintry, ice cold eyes never leaving Harry's.  
"Not everyone is naturally talented like you, some people need their time and that's perfectly fine. It's perfectly fine not to be ready for something and nobody needs snobs like you to make them feel bad about themselves. Especially when they did nothing wrong.", Niall grits his teeth and his light mood has vanished. Harry can feel Liam looking at the blond with wide eyes and an open mouth, utterly in awe.  
  
"It's alright, Nialler, he didn't mean to, uh, hurt me. Harry's a nice bloke", Liam barges in with a dumb little smile on his face, shrugging innocently.   
"Of course he is", the blond replies icily and gets up from his chair. "I have to go now anyway, sorry Payno. See you later, yeah?", he manages a smile back on his face and nods towards Liam and only sends a glare towards Harry, then his gaze drops onto the star-shaped brownie and he creases his face disgustedly before he takes it and leaves.  
  
"Sorry that Niall got so angry, he usually isn't, he's a happy guy!", Liam says after Niall left and Harry shakes his head.  
"It's okay, Li. I'm sorry that I said that anyway, I really didn't mean to hurt you in any way", he replies and ruffles his cousin's hair. "I hope he'll forgive me, though"  
"Ah, of course he will! Niall's not one to bear grudges!", Liam reassures him and bites into a muffin.  
  
Harry hums approvingly and they eat quietly for a while.   
"Is Niall seeing somebody?", the curly-haired lad asks then and looks at his cousin quizzically, waiting for an answer.  
Liam shakes his head no. "No, I don't think so. Do you want to go out with him?", he wonders and Harry shrugs in reply.  "Maybe. If I'm the kind of person he goes for."  
  
Brown eyes peer at him and thick eyebrows frown slightly.   
"You mean if he likes blokes? He does, just as much as he likes girls. Niall once told me that he doesn't care about the gender as long as the personality fits."  
Harry nods and wonders if he has screwed up his chance with the blond already.  
  
"Does he like flowers or something like that? Pralines? Money?", he questions and he can literally see the wheels in Liam's brain turn.  
"Not sure if he's into things like that but I know that he loves the stars and the planets and all that stuff. Some people tease him about that but everybody loves him anyway. He's probably the most loved village inhabitant", his cousin shrugs and scratches the back of his head. "I've asked him out once--"  
  
"Oh", Harry says and is quite surprised. "How'd it go?"  
Liam shrugs again nonchalantly. "We went out on a date and it was really nice but Niall thought it was better if we stayed friends and I think he was right. Niall's a bit different, you know? He doesn't like to be kept, I guess. He likes his space", he chuckles then. "Just as much as he likes _the_ space, you know?"  
  
The curly-haired lad smiles and it's the first time his smile is genuine and not put on. He wants the blond and he knows he will have him, no matter what or how long it takes. Harry is patient and persistent and also very, very charming. He also knows how he looks and how to trick people into liking him.   
  
"Is here an observatory around?"  
  
  
 *****  
  
  
It doesn't take Harry all too long to figure out that there isn't an observatory in the proximity but his aunt Karen tells him, that there's an open field not far away from the village where you can see the stars perfectly and that they own a telescope and Harry thinks that it's close enough and well, hopefully good enough, too.  
  
He asks Liam for Niall's phone number and since his cousin is a very helpful person and easily to make happy, Harry only has to promise him to visit him again some time. He says yes and promises it and it's simple to make a promise like that and Harry just hopes that he won't have to break it.  
  
 _Hello Niall, this is Harry,_  
 _I'm sorry that I've been such a dick in the coffee house._  
 _But I really want to get to know you better,_  
 _you seem like an interesting person :)_  
 _Call me_  
 _\- H xx_  
  
He texts Niall after deleting his first twenty tries. In the end he still isn't exactly happy with the message but it will do, he reckons. He hopes so.  
A weird feeling forms in the pit of his stomach when two hours pass and he still doesn't receive a text from Niall. He tells himself that the bloke is busy or his battery is empty or something like that.  
He's probably telling himself lies but he doesn't care, he just wants Niall to forgive him and go out with him.   
  
 _hi harry._  
 _you've been rly insensitive n i dont think you're_  
 _an interesting enough person,_  
 _sorry mate_  
 _\- niall  
  
_ It's been three hours but finally. Harry can't say he's happy about the message he gets from Niall but he probably shouldn't have expected anything else. He sighs deeply and decides to wait a couple of minutes before replying, so he doesn't look too desperate.  
  
He walks up to Liam's family's attic and starts searching for the telescope. It does take him about half an hour to find it and by the looks of it, it's pretty old. After checking a few things, Harry guesses that it's good enough, though - hopefully, at least - and that it'll work. He bumps into literally everything on his way down with the thing but after five more minutes, he places it in the living room and earns a few confused glances from Liam's dad who is currently reading the newspaper.  
  
"You're interested in stars and all these shenanigans? You should talk to Niall Horan then, he loves that stuff", Liam's dad rumbles and continues reading.   
 _Huh_ , Harry thinks, _Niall really is known all over town here.  
_ He doesn't bother to reply to him and instead takes out his phone and replies to Niall.  
  
 _You could give me a chance, though?_  
 _Meet me at the big field at midnight tonight, yeah?_  
 _I promise you won't regret it!_  
 _\- H xxx_  
  
He adds a third x for good luck or good measure, whatever, and hopes. This time Niall doesn't take as much time as before to answer his text.  
  
 _We'll see_  
  
is his answer and Harry sighs once more. Yes. He'll see.   
  
  
 ***  
**  
  
It's five minutes before midnight and Harry is on the field, which is less big than his aunt told him it is in his opinion, and he fumbles around with the telescope, waiting for Niall impatiently.  
He looks up to the sky. It's a clear night, no clouds, no fog, just the deep, dark sky and its shining stars and, of course, the moon.   
It's so peaceful and silent around him, almost holy in a way, so he lays down on the damp grass and stares at the endless depths above him.  
  
Harry doesn't hear someone approaching him, but then there's suddenly a rich voice with a slight smile audible, which says: "It's beautiful, isn't it? So many lost souls up there, looking down on us."  
He knows that it's Niall, it has to be, so he doesn't bother to sit up, he just pats the grass right beside him.   
  
The person obliges and sits down next to him, laying down slowly and when Harry turns his head he sees that it's indeed Niall and he smiles.  
"Hi", he breathes softly. Niall really looks like an angel, especially now in the moonlight and Harry can't believe that if he'd reach out, if he'd touch him, he'd feel flesh, real flesh and bones and it's mesmerising.   
  
"What do you want Harry?", Niall asks then. "This is not quite an unusual place for people to take me out. Did you learn all the constellations by heart? You wouldn't be the first one"  
Harry frowns at that and shakes his head. "No, I didn't. I mean, that'd be a good idea, I guess... oh, uh, I mean no, it wouldn't. I just-- Liam told me you liked stars?"  
  
Niall snorts and crosses his arms behind his head. "I do. But maybe I like the idea of stars more than the actual stars?", he says and Harry has to think, that Niall is a extraordinarily complex person.  
Hard to get, hard to impress but that makes Harry only want him even more.  
  
"The idea of stars?", he wonders and scoots a little closer to the blond in search of warmth. It's summer, yeah, but the nights get cold nonetheless sometimes.   
"Yeah", Niall whispers and eyes him. "I know that a star is a massive sphere of plasma held together by its own gravity", he tells Harry. "But I like the fact that stars are self-luminous more because it's a great metaphor, isn't it? If a sphere of plasma can shine by itself, so can you"  
  
Harry hums and thinks that Niall's brain must be so full of thoughts and ideas. He's not sure if the blond is of the earth, he rather seems to be something from outer space. No. Not outer space. Niall is a star.  
He smiles at that and looks at the boy next to him and yes, it must be true. Niall is self-luminous, too.  
The blond shines and glows and Harry is positively in love.   
  
"I heard you went out with Liam once", he notes after a while of silence and Niall just huffs.  
"You think he's a nutter, right? An idiot? He's not.", Niall hisses. "He's perfect the way he is. Sometimes a bit simple-minded but he's kind-hearted and that's what counts. The heart. The soul. Not the brains."  
  
Harry groans frustrated and rubs his face in desperation. "No, no, I meant... you went out with a guy, I meant... you're into guys, too. I mean, Liam told me that but, ugh, why do you make this so complicated? I'm just really interested in you and this should be easier than it is right now!"  
  
Niall lifts himself up a little, so his upper body weight is on his left side and he frowns down at Harry.  
"I'm not making anything complicated, mate. You're making it complicated by being an utter prat"  
Harry sits up, too and tugs his legs close.   
"I'm not being one on purpose, trust me. It's just a bit difficult for me at the moment... everyone is so nice and... simple around here. I'm not used to that."  
  
The blond behind him seems to sigh and begins to crawl closer to the brunette, leaning against him.  
"I'd give you a chance if you stop being a prat, yeah?", he says quietly and a smile reappears on Harry's face. "Mind you, I'm doing it for the dimples in your cheeks", Niall warns him and Harry laughs out loud, wrapping an arm around Niall's waist.  
  
They are silent again, just sitting close to each other, in each other's embrace, telescope long forgotten, and they look up to the sky and the thousands and thousands of stars and Harry feels so complete inside, so utterly complete, it startles him but he likes it.   
  
"Do you think you could like me as much as you like the sky?", Harry wonders and brushes a lock out of Niall's wonderful blue eyes. The blond chuckles.  
"You'd have to be a star then", he replies with a gentle smile. "But you can't expect me to answer that just yet anyway. Give me time. Give us time."  
  
Harry nods gingerly and gazes at the stars again. He decides to be nicer to Liam, to be less arrogant and more open-minded and maybe this will work out then. He hopes it will.   
  
"Have you ever tried counting stars?"  
  
Niall laughs happily.   
  
"Yeah, but we could try together now."  
  
  
 ***  
**  
  
And the fact that it is midnight, well, almost midnight, makes him happy, makes him feel like a poet, a thinker and the fact that there is a person beside him, who doesn't want to catch up with life either, makes him even happier.   
  
  
 *****

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any mistakes and hope you enjoyed it anyway!


End file.
